Ow My Balls

There’s been a rather questionable trend among certain online gun enthusiast communities of members pointing loaded guns at their genitals, in a form of mocking those who push for sensible gun handling. But finally, the inevitable happens – and the response then got weird.

Instead of the outright mockery you’d expect as a response to a video of someone, well, shooting themselves right where it counts, the Facebook group has turned the hapless man into a folk hero and meme on their group, while more sensible gun owners look on in dismay.

posted by NoxAeternum (18 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite

Not a double.
posted by paper chromatographologist at 12:15 PM on August 13
great society we got here
posted by entropone at 12:19 PM on August 13 [2 favorites]
Any Canadians who want to adopt an American please memail me. I don’t want to live in the dick shooting country anymore. I am clean and well-behaved
posted by theodolite at 12:19 PM on August 13 [11 favorites]
Republicans in a nutshell.

sorry but the “joke” was impossible to ignore
posted by aramaic at 12:20 PM on August 13 [6 favorites]

This is what happens when the American right wing decides doubling down is the only way to prove you’re not owned.
posted by ikea_femme at 12:23 PM on August 13 [1 favorite]
posted by seanmpuckett at 12:25 PM on August 13
Living in Canada, there’s a good chance I will never do that.
posted by mazola at 12:26 PM on August 13
…I actually do have to confess that I’d been mulling trying to activate a similar meme among the boogaloo set, aiming to convince them that the most radical Q-aligned act would … err … involve significant risk of personal injury.

Once again, their idiocy has preceded my ability to leverage it.
posted by aramaic at 12:26 PM on August 13 [2 favorites]

“We are sick of republicans (think NRA) telling us what to do with our property, and we are sick of being told that just because we like guns It means we have to be anti woman, pro life and pro trump.”

So they think of themselves as liberals? They’re pro-woman, pro-choice, anti-Trump, and anti-gun-safety?

[smacks forehead]
posted by clawsoon at 12:26 PM on August 13

Shooting off your own balls to own the libs. Take that, Demoncrats!
posted by Ben Trismegistus at 12:27 PM on August 13 [1 favorite]
As a liberal woman who owns a gun (that mostly sits unloaded, in a locked safe – I just like making holes in pieces of paper at a distance), I’m just going to back away slowly from all of these weirdo fuckers.
posted by rmd1023 at 12:31 PM on August 13 [3 favorites]
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang
But a FB meme
posted by nubs at 12:46 PM on August 13
So what can we call this?

Not a winner of a Darwin Award as, although they’ve taken themselves out of the genepool, they have actually survived (I’m assuming they did, btw. I just can’t be arsed to look further into the stupidity.) thus not fulfilling the strict definition.

Darwin Annex Award winner?
Darwin’s Neighbour?
Dipla-Darwin Award winner?
Winner of a Sub-Darwin?
Prope-Darwin Award winner?

Asimov, sadly, was right.

What confuses me, however, is that during the Space-race, engineers and smarts were praised in the USA without, afaik, a concurrent backlash.

Yet now, even though nerds and geeks are socially accepted due in no small part to the ascendancy of tech money/media/moguls/brands, the long ago warned of ‘pride in ignorance’/’proud to be stupid’ mentality has infected a significant part of the population.

I suspect, in the US at least, it’s due to lack of education (budget) and a rise in fundamental religion (and a cultish version of that, at that) which pushes against knowledge/wisdom/experience in a way engineers/rocket scientists were not subject to in the 50’s.

Bannon IS an evil mastermind.
posted by MacD at 12:47 PM on August 13

Perhaps the ultimate “Here, hold my beer…”
posted by jim in austin at 12:48 PM on August 13
Concerning cock-cannon craze castrates complete cretin. Curiously, chuckle-headed companions celebrate cretin’s cause conspicuously. Collective comedic confusion coalesces.
posted by inflatablekiwi at 12:51 PM on August 13
There’s a quiet thrill that all journalists feel when they have the opportunity to write a paragraph that can stand as a summary of an era, a passage that neatly encapsulates the myriad dysfunctions of an entire society.

A nut graf for the ages, if you will:

“Hey [b]ois, I might have fucked up,” the man who shot himself in the balls wrote above a picture of his naked legs and splattered blood on the carpet of his floor. A towel is stuffed between his legs and a printed out copy of the constitution is crumpled on the edge of the photo.

The guy posted through the incident as he bled.

posted by theory at 12:53 PM on August 13 [1 favorite]

Not a winner of a Darwin Award as, although they’ve taken themselves out of the genepool, they have actually survived

FWIW, the rules say alive but sterile is award-eligible.
posted by cardboard at 12:54 PM on August 13

In the end the Party would announce that two minus two made two, and you would have to believe it. It was inevitable that they should make that claim sooner or later: the logic of their position demanded it.

(apologies to Orwell, but IMO, he would’ve appreciated the gag)
posted by CheesesOfBrazil at 12:55 PM on August 13


Biden says all U.S. governors should mandate masks to slow coronavirus’ spread

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Harris, a U.S. senator from California and former prosecutor, added: “I think it’s important that the American people looking at the election coming up ask the current occupant of the White House, ‘When am I going to get vaccinated? When am I actually going to get vaccinated?’

“Because there may be some grand gestures offered by the current president about a vaccine but it really doesn’t matter until you can answer the question ‘When am I going to get vaccinated.’”

The first Black woman and Asian American on a major-party U.S. presidential ticket, Harris will have three roles to play in the campaign: energizing people to vote and volunteer, outlining Biden’s policy vision, and prosecuting the case against Trump, according to a person familiar with the strategy.

Trump long played down the risks of the coronavirus pandemic, which has killed more people in the United States than in any other country and thrown tens of millions of Americans out of work.

Harris is expected to focus on Trump’s response to the crisis, which has been an effective argument for Biden so far.

After introducing Harris’ personal story on Wednesday in their first joint appearance since picking his running mate, Biden quickly moved to talking about the urgency of the moment.

Trump, for his part, on Thursday tweeted that the media were giving Harris “a free pass despite her Radical Left failures and very poor run in the Democrat Primary.”

A Trump ally conceded privately that the Democratic pair had a “good day” on the campaign trail. Biden’s campaign said they collected $34.2 million on Tuesday and Wednesday after announcing Harris as the running mate, a record pace of fundraising.


U.S. envoy: FBI to join Beirut blast probe, Lebanon must end ’empty promises’

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An Israeli seismological expert said on Thursday the explosion was preceded by a series of blasts, the last of which was combustion of fireworks.


Authorities have estimated losses from the blast at $15 billion, a bill Lebanon cannot pay: it already defaulted on its enormous sovereign debt in March and IMF talks had stalled.

Humanitarian aid has poured in. But foreign countries that once helped have made clear they will not give funds to help Lebanon out of economic collapse without reforms to tackle state corruption and waste.

Hale, the No. 3 U.S. diplomat, said Washington would back any new government that “reflects the will of the people” and enacts reforms. The fallout from the explosion forced the cabinet to resign this week.

But agreement on a new one could be daunting in a country with factional rifts and a sectarian power-sharing system. Public anger has grown at a political elite in power for decades, which many blame for the country’s woes.

The now-caretaker government came to office in January with backing from various political parties, including the heavily armed Shi’ite Muslim Hezbollah. Together with its allies, they have a majority of seats in parliament.

The United States classifies Hezbollah, which is backed by Tehran, as terrorist. Iran’s Foreign Minister Mohammad Javad Zarif landed in Beirut on Thursday evening, local media said.

Security forces were heavily deployed in Beirut on Thursday, stopping protesters from reaching a legislative session.


“In the Legendary Republic of Utopia…”

Satirical films that end up predicting a future that they once joked about are becoming more common these days. But such satire doesn’t begin with Idiocracy or Network. Let’s go back nearly 100 years ago to an Austrian film whose title pretty much says it all: The City Without Jews

Found in a Parisian flea market several years ago, this once thought lost silent film is based on the satirical book of the same name by Austrian writer Hugo Bettauer. The restored Bluray (Trailer) was just released, but if you don’t have the coin you can view a more rough around the edges cut available on YouTube.

posted by AlonzoMosleyFBI (0 comments total)


U.S. requires Confucius Institute center to register as foreign mission

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WASHINGTON — The United States said on Thursday it was requiring the center that manages the Chinese government-funded Confucius Institutes in the United States to register as a foreign mission, the latest sign of the deteriorating relationship between Washington and Beijing.

U.S. Secretary of State Mike Pompeo, in a statement, labeled the Confucius Institute U.S. Center “an entity advancing Beijing’s global propaganda and malign influence campaign on U.S. campuses and K-12 classrooms.”

David Stilwell, the top U.S. diplomat for East Asia, told a briefing the dozens of Confucius Institutes in the United States would not be kicked out, but said U.S. universities should take a “hard look” at what they were doing on campus.

Academic exchanges needed to take place without government intrusion, Stilwell said.

Last year, the U.S. State and Education Departments promised stricter monitoring of the institutes, which have been criticized in Congress and elsewhere as de facto propaganda arms of China’s Communist government.

In June, the State Department announced it would start treating four major Chinese media outlets as foreign embassies, calling them mouthpieces for Beijing.


The tipping point? Some restaurants pivoting to ‘hospitality-included’ model, add 18% to bill

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The results of these experiments have been decidedly mixed.  Last week in New York City, the Union Square Hospitality Group announced that it would be re-introducing tipping across its restaurants, five years after fazing tipping out; for them, the idea was admirable in theory, but difficult to execute in practice. 

But in light of changes due to COVID and widespread anti-racism initiatives, an era without tipping may be on the horizon once again.

The case against tipping rests on inequity. Although socially we are conditioned to tip between 15-20 per cent of the cost of the meal, some diners may elect to punish service they perceive to be lacking with a lower tip, and that latitude, consciously or unconsciously, can result in biased tipping.

Dr. Sylvain Charlebois, writing in the opinion pages of theGlobe and Mailearlier this week, points out that tipping “promotes bias based on age, race, and gender,” and that it can make female servers in particular “more vulnerable to sexual harassment from customers,” who may feel entitled to a certain level of attention in exchange for the gratuity they have the power to give or not give. 

“Tipping is a problematic practice,” says Ariel Coplan, the executive chef at Toronto’s Green Wood restaurant and one of the co-owners of Grand Cru Deli. “There is often a correlation between race and gender and tips earned.”

Coplan is also the co-founder of Not 9 To 5, a non-profit dedicated to helping restaurant workers deal with the pressures of the job. He sees the issue of tipping, principally, as one of wellness.“Any industry that relies on tipping as someone’s primary source of income has been shown to have a negative effect on mental health,” he explains. “If you don’t know how much money you’re making, how can you budget your life? That pressure can have a devastating impact.” 


آموزش سئو

آموزش سئو

آموزش سئو
آموزش سئو

راهنمای جامع سئو

بنده ناصر رسولی هستم در این مطلب میخواهم شما را با فاکتورهای جادویی سئو آشنا کنم ، این مطلب را میتوانیم جامعترین مطلب  در زمینه راهنمای سئو بدانیم چراکه 187 فاکتور تاثیر گذار در رتبه بندی گوگل به صورت کاملاً تجربی توسط بیش از میلیون ها سایت مشاهده و ثبت شده است که شما هم اکنون در این مطلب آن را مطالعه خواهید کرد.
من به شما قول میدهم بعد از مطالعه مطلب راهنمای جامع سئو دیگر نیازی به هیچ مقاله و استادی برای یادگیری سئو نخواهید داشت
به عبارت دیگر شما با مطالعه این موارد به درجه استادی خواهید رسید

شاید بپرسید از این فاکتورها چند مورد را انجام دهیم؟

جواب ساده است شما حتی میتوانید با اعمال حدود 100 عدد از این فاکتورهای سئو سایتتان را بهبود ببخشید و آن را به رتبه های برتر گوگل برسانید اما اینکه رقابت با شما چقدر برای رقبایتان سخت باشد بستگی به این دارد که چه تعداد از این فاکتورها را بر روی سایتتان عملی کرده اید. در واقع هرچه تعداد فاکتورهای بیشتری از این مطلب را بر روی سایت خود عملی کنید به همان میزان رقابت با شما برای رقبا سخت تر خواهد بود.

آیا این مطلب مطابق با سئو کلاه سفید میباشد؟

بله این مطلب آموزشی کاملاً مطابق با سئو سفید نگارش شده است ، هیچ یک از گفته هایی که در این مطلب وجود دارد اشاره ای به سئو خاکستری یا سئو سیاه ندارد. قصد از نگارش این مطلب دقیقاً این بود که علم سئو مردم ایران پیشرفت نماید و سعی بر این داریم تا این علم در جهت درست یعنی سئو سفید پیشرفت نماید.

پیروی از این مطلب چه مزایایی دارد؟

با پیروی از این مطلب شما میتوانید با خیالی راحت و بدون حتی ذره ای نگرانی از پنالتی و جریمه های گوگل به کار خود ادامه دهید زیرا آموزش ها به صورت سئو سفید میباشد و این یعنی امکان هیچ جریمه ای از جانب گوگل برای شما وجود ندارد. همچنین با عمل به گفته های این مطلب شما یک سئوکار حرفه ای خواهید بود و در کار سئو به درجه استادی خواهید رسید.

و در نهایت…

این مطلب بعد از خرید در اختیار شما قرار گرفته است ، با اینکه پول آن را پرداخت کرده اید اما مطلب فقط برای شما خریداری شده است و در قبال آموزش ها و تجربه های درج شده در آن تنها خواسته ما عدم انتشار این مطلب به صورت رایگان میباشد چراکه این کار حرام بوده و ما هیچ رضایتی از این بابت نخواهیم داشت.

اگر راجع به سئو و بهینه سازی موتورهای جستجوگر مطالعه کرده باشید، به احتمال زیاد می دانید که گوگل هم اکنون از 200 عامل مهم رتبه بندی در الگوریتم های خود استفاده می کند. این فاکتورها چه چیزی هستند و چه تاثیری بر روی رتبه سایت دارند؟

در این مطلب قصد داریم لیست کاملی از این عوامل و فاکتورها را ارائه کنیم. برخی از این فاکتورها تایید شده اند و برخی بحث برانگیزند. اما همه این عوامل را در ادامه به طور کامل بیان خواهیم کرد و شکی در آن نیست که تمامی آنها موجب افزایش رتیه شما در جستجوگرهای مختلف از جمله گوگل خواهد بود.

طول عمر دامنه

مت کاتز در این باره می گوید:
تفاوت دامنه ای که شش ماه از زمان ثبت آن می گذرد با دامنه ای که یکساله است چندان زیاد نیست. به عبارت دیگر، گوگل به سن دامنه اهمیت می دهد، اما میزان اهمیت آن زیاد نیست. در واقع شما فرض کنید میخواهید کالایی را خریداری کنید و دو شرکت این کالا را ارائه میکنند یکی پیشینه قوی دارد و خود را تا سال های آینده پابرجا میداند و یکی دیگر فقط تا 1 سال آینده خود را موثق میداند حال کدام یک برای شما بیشتر مورد اعتماد است؟ 100% آنکه خود را تا سال های سال موثق میداند. گوگل هم همانند شما فکر میکند و به کسی که 5 سال دامنه خود را تمدید کرده است و تا 5 سال آینده خود را ضمانت نموده است اهمیت بیشتری میدهد تا سایتی که فقط تا 1 سال تمدید شده است. بنابراین سعی کنید دامنه خودتان را به صورت 5 ساله تمدید کنید این مورد شاید تاثیر کمی داشته باشد اما بدون شک بی تاثیر نیست.

کلمات کلیدی که در ادامۀ دامنه ظاهر می شوند

استفاده از این گزینه شاید مانند گذشته تاثیر زیادی نداشته باشد اما داشتن کلمات کلیدی مناسب در دامنه هنوز هم به عنوان یک سیگنال مرتبط عمل می کند. مهم تر از همه این است که قبلاً موتورهای جستجو کلمات کلیدی که در نام دامنه وجود دارند را به صورت برجسته نمایش می دادند و این یعنی این یک مورد مهم بوده است از نظر گوگل.
بهتر است در مورد این موضوع دقت بیشتری داشته باشید. زمانی که شما میخواهید در زمینه سئو فعالیت کنید اگر دامنه انتخابی شما کلمه سئو را در خود داشته باشد یک سیگنال خواهد بود برای گوگل مانند دامنه HeroSEO.com و یا از این دست دامنه ها ، در واقع زمانی که شما اینکار را انجام میدهید گوگل میگوید این شخص احتمالاً بر روی سئو کار میکند که در اسم دامنه از آن استفاده کرده است. فکر کنید نام شرکتی را به شما میگویند مانند عرقیات کیهان و بلافاصله ذهنیتی که در شما ایجاد میشود این است که این شرکت احتمالاً در زمینه عرق گیری از گیاهان فعالیت دارد. خب پس گوگل هم مثل شما فکر میکند در نتیجه بهتر است در نام دامنه خود از کلمه کلیدی مربوط به فعالیت خود استفاده کنید.

کلمات کلیدی به عنوان اولین کلمه در دامنه

دامنه هایی که با کلمات کلیدی مرتبط با فعالیت خود آغاز می شوند نسبت به دامنه هایی که هیچ کلمه کلیدی در خود ندارند یا کلمۀ کلیدی شان در آخر یا وسط دامنه است، یک سرو گردن بالاتر هستند. همانند مثال بالا فکر کنید در زمینه سئو فعالیت میکنید و دامنه شما نیز با کلمه SEO شروع میشود بدین صورت گوگل نیز ذهنیتی از شما پیدا میکند که دارید در زمینه سئو فعالیت میکنید. و اگر دامنه شما کلمه سئو را در خود داشته باشد و همچنین در زمینه سئو نیز فعالیت داشته باشید بدون شک نسبت به رقبایی که از این قابلیت استفاده نکرده اند یک قدم جلوتر خواهید بود.

مدت زمان ثبت دامنه

یکی از کارشناسان گوگل بیان می کند:
دامنه های با ارزش اغلب برای چندین سال مورد استفاده قرار می گیرند در حالیکه دامنه های کم ارزش به ندرت بیش تر از یکسال استفاده می شوند. بنابراین زمانی که یک دامنه در آینده منقضی شود، این انقضا به عنوان یک فاکتور در مشروعیت دامنه شناخته خواهد شد. در واقع گوگل بعد از 1 سال تازه می فهمد که کار شما جدی است و شما میخواهید کار خود را ادامه دهید. در واقع اگر یک کار جدی را شروع کرده اید باید بدانید بعد از یک سال تازه پیشرفت سایت شما شروع خواهد شد و این یعنی برنامه ریزی بیشتر از 1 سال را برای سایتتان داشته باشید.

کلمات کلیدی در نام زیر دامنه

تحقیقات وب سایت MOZ در سال 2011 نشان داده است کلمات کلیدی موجود در نام ساب دامین (زیر دامنه) می تواند رتبه بندی سایت را افزایش دهد. اگر شما یک دامنه داشته باشید در زمینه سئو فعالیت میکند و نام ساب دامنه سایتتان را نیز مرتبط با سایتتان انتخاب کنید برای دامنه شما و ارزش آن در گوگل مفیدتر خواهد بود یعنی شما نام زیر دامنه خودتان را بگذارید SEOTOOLS همانطور که میدانید ابزار سئو مرتبط با سئو میباشد و این به پیشرفت سایت شما کمک میکند. از نظر گوگل شما یک سای دامنه ایجاد کرده اید که مرتبط با کار شما است و این یعنی شما به صورت عمیق فقط در حیطه سئو کار میکنید که در نتیجه این کار افزایش رتبه خواهید داشت. البته به این موضوع نیز توجه داشته باشید که حتماً بایستی بر روی ساب دامنه سایتتان نیز به صورت دقیق کار کنید و مطالب کاربر پسند و مفیدی را ایجاد کنید.

تاریخچه دامنه

گوگل سابقۀ تاریخی سایت هایی که در طول دوره ای دارای مالکیت مختلف بوده اند یا افت متعددی را تجربه کرده اند را دوباره از نو تنظیم می کند. همین امر موجب می شود لینک هایی که به دامنه ارجاع داده می شود خنثی گردد. شاید شما هم دیده اید برخی از افراد دامنه ای را به فروش میرسانند که دارای ارزش و اعتبار زیادی برخوردار است مانند دامنه هایی که دامین اتوریتی بالایی دارند. این سایت ها بعد از اینکه مالکیت آنها عوض شود و به نام شخص دیگری تغیر یابد تمامی بک لینک هایی که قبلاً گرفته است بی ارزش خواهد بود و آنها دیگر برای گوگل اهمیتی ندارند. ادامه مطلب

Political and General News Events from Aug. 13

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BRUSSELS – EU ministers responsible for trade hold informal meeting in Berlin to discuss current trade topics from transatlantic relations to the World Trade Organization. – – – – – – – – –

TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 22 NEW YORK CITY – World leaders take part in 75th annual U.N. General Assembly high-level debate (to Sept. 28).

BRUSSELS – EU General Affairs Council meeting. – – – – – – – – –


BRUSSELS – EU Foreign Affairs Council meeting.

– – – – – – – – –

MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 28 BRUSSELS Brexit talks in Brussels (to Oct. 2).

– – – – – – – – – WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 30 TORONTO – Canada hosts the world circular economy forum in Toronto.

– – – – – – – – – SUNDAY, OCTOBER 4 KYRGYZSTAN – Kyrgyz Supreme Council Election. NEW CALEDONIA – Referendum Election. – – – – – – – – –

MONDAY, OCTOBER 5 BRUSSELS – Eurogroup Meeting.

– – – – – – – – –

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 7 HANOI – Vietnam hosts ASEAN senior officials’ meeting in Hanoi. – – – – – – – – –

MONDAY, OCTOBER 12 BRUSSELS – EU Foreign Affairs Council meeting.

– – – – – – – – – TUESDAY, OCTOBER 13 LUXEMBOURG – EU General Affairs Council meeting. – – – – – – – – – THURSDAY, OCTOBER 15 BRUSSELS – European Council arrives for a two-day summit (to Oct 16) – – – – – – – – –

MONDAY, OCTOBER 26 KUALA LUMPUR – Finance ministers of APEC countries meet to address regional macroeconomic and financial issues as well as domestic and regional financial policy priorities during the APEC-Finance Ministers’ Meeting in Malaysia (to Oct. 28)

– – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – – NOTE: The inclusion of diary items does not necessarily mean that Reuters will file a story based on the event.

For Technical Issues Please contact Thomson Reuters Customer Support (TRCS) at https://customers.reuters.com/kccontactus/telephone.aspx


A Level in Competence

As students across England, Wales and Northern Ireland receive their adjusted exam results, private schools see a rise in A* and A grades, while 40% of teacher assessments in England have been downgraded.

Education secretary Gavin Williamson remains defiant after vowing to end grade inflation, and Minister for School Standards Nick Gibb refuses to follow Scotland’s lead in allowing students to use grades from mock exams instead of their calculated results. The Office of Qualifications warns that “because of the role of the rank order in grading this year“, any appeals would “affect other students in your cohort“.

posted by lucidium (1 comment total)

What a total shambles. Some of the stories are horrendous. There was one about a student who got AAA at mocks, predicted A*, A*, A and got BBC. What would they have to have done in order to get AAA? How could they possibly get any A* results. They were in Hartlepool.

The appeals process which might (and this is very much not guaranteed) consider mock marks for the grades is likely to get some amended marks back before the cut off for students to get their original programmes and others not. Unis will hold courses until that date. Of course if you hold on and don’t get the upgrade or it doesn’t come in time then clearing will be pretty much done with, especially at the Russell Group unis.

Williamson is apparently concerned (behind a telegraph paywall) that some student might get promoted beyond their competence. Introspection not being a strong suit. He means poor kids obviously.
posted by biffa at 6:03 AM on August 13 [1 favorite]



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