The Grass is no longer greener on the other side of the fence.

Banning Lawns. “Lawns occupy approximately three times more space than corn and
twice as much as cotton, and consume up to sixty percent of potable
municipal water supplies in Western cities and up to thirty percent in
Eastern cities.” It’s time to give up the great American Institution of the
Front Lawn.
posted by storybored (6 comments total) 9 users marked this as a favorite
My friends who used to live on Cape Cod would complain, “I constantly have to sweep sand from my front porch!!1”
posted by Melismata at 1:27 PM on August 25
how the hell am i supposed to tell kids to get off my lawn if the kids take the lawn away?
posted by pyramid termite at 1:36 PM on August 25
get off my jawn?
posted by lalochezia at 1:40 PM on August 25
I’d like to see some of the specific problems addressed more directly than just banning lawns outright or offering rebates for giving up a lawn:

A lawnmower generates more greenhouse gas emissions per hour than 11 cars, according to the Environmental Protection Agency;

Lawnmowers and other lawn equipment are painfully overdue for emissions and noise regulation. With the right combination of regulation of gasoline-powered equipment and subsidy of electric equipment, virtually everyone would switch to electric mowers, trimmers, etc. I did so about a decade ago and it’s been fantastic. No more two-cycle engine exhaust stink, no fussing with toxic, flammable chemicals, virtually no maintenance, and so quiet you can listen to music or a podcast at normal volume while you work.

nitrous oxide emitted by fertilizer has 300 times the warming potential of carbon dioxide, and lingers in the atmosphere for as long as 120 years. Swept into waterways, those fertilizers strip the water of oxygen, causing algal blooms and “dead zones” that kill freshwater and marine life.

Tax fertilizers, pesticides, weed killer, etc to reduce usage and fund wastewater cleanup.

Then, of course, there’s water use. Americans consume around 9 billion gallons of water a day on average on outdoor use—most of it watering their lawns. That’s more water than families use for showering and laundry combined.

Tax water usage progressively. The tax should only start to kick in after typical usage for cooking, showering, laundry, etc is accounted for, and part of the tax should be used to subsidize water for low income households.
posted by jedicus at 1:41 PM on August 25 [1 favorite]

conventional turfgrass is a non-native
monocrop that contributes to a loss of biodiversity and typically requires vast
amounts of water, pesticides, and gas-powered mowing.

the key word there is “Typically”, none of those are required.
posted by Dr. Twist at 1:43 PM on August 25

Shhhh. You’re giving the Home Owners Association palpitations…
posted by jim in austin at 1:45 PM on August 25

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